Being A Foster Parent Is A Rewarding Experience That Helps A Child In Need Of A Loving Home
Years ago, Tracy Coates and her husband Kevin decided to try becoming foster parents – just for six months, to see what the experience was like. Nine years and many foster children later, Tracy says she can’t imagine her life any other way. “I wouldn’t trade it at all. Even during the bad times, I’ve learned so much,” she says.
Foster parents like Coates provide vital care for children in New Brunswick who, for a variety of reasons, can’t stay with their biological parents. They give kids a safe, stable, and nurturing home where they feel loved and supported.
And while the benefits of that environment for the children are enormous, fostering can be an incredibly rewarding experience for parents as well.
Right now, however, there is a massive need for foster families in New Brunswick.
Tracy Bonner is the supervisor of Children’s Resource Services in the province’s Southwest Zone. She says that, ten years ago, there were about 160 foster families in her zone. Today, there are only about 70.
“And the number of children coming into care has not gone down,” she says. “Our resources have certainly thinned out.”
“Foster families play a significant role in child welfare. When a child needs to come into care, we depend on them heavily.”
Bonner says the shortage stems mostly from foster families retiring. But she also thinks some prospective foster parents don’t pursue it because they have misconceptions about what fostering is.
Fostering can be a lot of work and it does require a lot of training, evaluation, and most importantly dedication. But Bonner says it doesn’t have to be a 24/7 commitment.
You can, for example, volunteer to be a respite home for other foster families – taking in foster kids for a day or two every couple of weeks to give foster families a break (it’s a simple service but it’s incredibly valuable to the fostering community). There are also emergency foster families who look after kids for a few days under special circumstances.
Bonner says some people also believe they are too old, too young, or not experienced enough to raise foster kids. But none of those things are necessarily barriers.
“You don’t have to come with qualifications; you don’t need to have a degree; you really just need to want to help,” she says.
“People assume they don’t have enough time, or they haven’t parented before so they can’t foster, but that’s not true.”
She says her department provides a vast and dedicated support network for every foster child and their family. They can take care of after-school childcare, visits with social workers, and even communicate with a child’s biological parents.
“If people want to make a positive difference in the life of a child and find provide a caring, supportive, nurturing environment for them, we want to support them however we can,” Bonner says.
Coates understands how important a nurturing environment is for foster children who haven’t had a lot of stability. She says she’s witnessed incredible growth in many of her own kids.
“One of the biggest things we’ve seen is the children take pride in themselves and want to do well. To see them have empathy for other people and to see them grow and shift into being caring people is amazing,” she says.
She remembers one of her children, who had been learning tools to deal with anxiety, came home from school one day incredibly proud because they were able to help a friend in a similar situation.
“They had seen a friend who didn’t look okay and were able to use the tools she had to help this friend. That was so special to see,” Coates says.
And that’s just one example. Coates admits fostering can be challenging, and sometimes the bad times feel like they outnumber the good, but she says she also can’t imagine not doing it.
“If I had a house that had 20 bedrooms in it that probably had 20 foster children,” she says with a laugh.
Bonner believes there are lots of people out there like Coates who want to help the same way Coates does.
“People just want to help – they just want to help a child, especially a child who was so vulnerable. And so if they want to make a difference, my words of wisdom to them is, please do jump in. See if this is for you. You could be somebody who would make a huge difference in the life of a child.”
This story is sponsored by the government of New Brunswick.