Why Some Men Are Failing Badly At LinkedIn
LinkedIn is not Tinder. Seriously.
As obvious as that might seem, it’s all too common now to sit around a table with young people and hear tales of politicians, business people and other professionals mistaking the “Facebook for business” networking platform for a place where courtesy means a young woman wants to go for drinks with them or put up with a barrage of unsolicited, late-night text messages.
Julia (not her real name) is a young professional in Fredericton who knows the experience of inappropriate LinkedIn messages all too well. She wishes to remain anonymous due to the personal nature of what she’s shared.
Julia has reached the point where she braces herself for the worst when she sees a message coming. She describes a situation with a professional acquaintance that initially seemed harmless until he asked for her phone number and began repeatedly texting her to go for drinks.
“It’s kind of to the point where if I receive a LinkedIn message I almost roll my eyes even though I’ve had some really fantastic coffee chats about work,” she says.
Julia is not alone in wading through the awkward waters of inappropriate LinkedIn messages. There are entire blogs dedicated to sharing the grossest of gross LinkedIn messages. A quick search on Twitter brings up similar results:
Got this message over @LinkedIn – seriously?! #learnsomemanners #gross #inappropriate #sexist #callingoutsexism pic.twitter.com/xiJU4imKGi
— Joanna Savio (@joannasavio) March 16, 2016
What it’s like to be a woman: CDN Dude wants to connect on LinkedIn. Seems legit, so I agree. New message: “You have a cute smile.” #creepy
— Jane Caulfield (@Janecaulfield) March 28, 2016
LinkedIn messages = every message in the “other” folder on FB. #ew #blocked pic.twitter.com/j6N3IjWCir
— Olivia Muenter (@oliviamuenter) August 15, 2015
Julia has heard of experiences similar to hers in her own networks. She says virtually every professional woman she’s talked to about this has a story to tell.
“I was with a group of my girlfriends and we all chatted about this and every single one of us had an instance where this has happened and we again related it back to people often messaging and being like ‘hey, we’re doing similar things’ or ‘I’d love to get your opinion on a project’ and then it leads to ‘can I add you as a friend on Facebook.’”
As she never receives messages from women and finds most of the inappropriate messages to be from older men, Julia believes the messages are a symptom of a larger issue. She often finds herself the youngest or even the only woman in a room of professionals and feels she has to work for people to take her seriously.
Back in September of last year, human rights lawyer Charlotte Proudman came under fire and was branded a “feminazi” for calling out a senior law partner on Twitter who sent her a LinkedIn message based on her looks rather than professional legal skills. Proudman is known as an advocate for women’s rights and an expert in female genital mutilation, forced marriage and honour-based violence.
In her response, Proudman says that the solution for this sort of behaviour is for men and women to “support each other in calling out sexism wherever and whenever it exists.”
TL/DR: Don’t send LinkedIn messages you wouldn’t say to someone’s face in front of a group of people whose opinions you care about. Treat every professional with the respect they’ve earned.