Funeral Homes Help Families Through Tough Times Made Worse By Coronavirus Crisis
HALIFAX — Patricia De Freitas is there to support you through some of the worst moments of your life.
As a funeral director and embalmer with Atlantic Funeral Homes, she’s often the first line of contact for families who have just lost a loved one. It’s a job she takes very seriously, but she admits that these days she finds meeting with the public “daunting.”
Not long ago, De Freitas went back to work for a 10-day shift after a short time off. At the front of her mind as she prepared to return were stories from W. J. Caul Funeral Home in St. John’s.
In late March, an infected person turned up to a pair of memorial services there and spread COVID-19 to more than 60 people.
“I think for all of my funeral home colleagues that’s really our biggest fear realized, you know?” she says.
Gathering sizes in Nova Scotia are now limited to no more than five people but De Freitas says it’s “terrifying” to think about all the front-line workers who are still getting infected.
She worries that she and other funeral directors are particularly at risk. In the unfortunate event that someone passes away from COVID-19 one of their loved ones’ first stops will be a funeral home.
“We’re taking care of the remains, and also sitting with family members who most definitely have been in contact with their loved one before they die,” she said.
“We screen people on the telephone before we schedule the arrangement appointment… but you don’t know, some people might choose to come in anyway because they feel it’s sufficiently important and ignore the restrictions.”
RELATED: Meet Roderick, The ‘Patient Whisperer’ With A Clown Nose In His Pocket
She says she can’t bear the thought of her colleagues being put at risk like that, but all she can do is hope that people are upfront and honest.
Despite fear for her and her colleagues’ safety, De Freitas says she’s most worried about the loved ones of people who pass away during the COVID-19 pandemic.
Social distancing restrictions mean most people are left out of the memorial process. Only five can attend the ceremony and only two can come in for a consultation (in normal times as many as 15 might help with planning).
De Freitas says these rituals are incredibly important for the grieving process and she’s worried sick for the people who are being deprived of them.
“It’s just heartbreaking, actually. It’s really heartbreaking. Because families need funeral rituals to activate their support system. They need to invite people into their grief journey, and without the ability to have a gathering it really diminishes the effectiveness of the grief process,” she says.
“My fear is that we’re going to have people who are really struggling down the road because they didn’t have the opportunity to experience the full funeral rituals.”
To help, her funeral home is live-streaming gatherings and funerals to try and give “a little bit of connection” to friends and family members who aren’t allowed to be there. It’s also offering full memorial services for free once COVID-19 restrictions are lifted to families who were kept from having them.
De Freitas says gestures like these, along with stories about colleagues in frontline professions looking out for and supporting each other, keep her hopeful as the pandemic stretches on.
“We need to be particularly diligent and mindful of our coworkers, and make sure we’re protecting each other at work,” she says.
“People are getting through this because they’re taking care of each other, and that’s what I want funeral directors to do. We all need to take care of each other, and I think we are.”
[heart-beat]