COMMENTARY: The Mental Struggle of Start Ups and Downs
Huddle publishes commentaries from groups and individuals on important business issues facing the Maritimes. These commentaries do not necessarily reflect the opinion of Huddle.
By Melani Flanigan, Cofounder and CEO of Itavio
“I can’t eat and I can’t sleep. I’m not doing well in terms of being a functional human, you know?” Ned Vizzini, It’s Kind of a Funny Story
Entrepreneurship is fraught with a lot of hype.
And while we’ve started talking as a community about the crippling self-doubt, impostor complexes, careening from meetings with a liberal amount of back-sweat induced from anxiety and sleepless nights — the dominant narrative is still this:
It ain’t glamourous. It’s hard work.
We need to be honest about that.
There’s a mini tour of start-up celebrity-esque experts perpetuating the myth that entrepreneurs are hoodie-wearing heroes, who bleed code, fall on top of money and exit overnight.
A kid from university recently told me, “I want to be an entrepeneur.”
Straight up.
Nothing about what they wanted to do or what they were passionate about, he simply viewed this as an amazing lifestyle choice.
While that desire to be your own boss is awesome, and one day this kid may invent or create the Next Big Thing, I worry that we’re selling entrepreneurship as a sunny music festival instead of the long marathon that it is.
And those false expectations are going to create a hell of a lot more depression and suicides than we already have. Both for those who are in it now who are focused on always being “the hero” and for those new entrants who might be in way over their head.
Truth 1: 30% of founders suffer from depression.
Truth 2: I’m one of them.
Truth 3: You probably are too.
Truth 4: It’s ok to ask for help.
We need to say that more. To ourselves and to others.
There are a ton of things that can go wrong. On an hourly basis.
(Are they making anti-perspirants for the small of our backs and behind the knees yet? No? Just thought I’d check.)
It’s the hardest job I have ever had. And I do it because I believe that we can make a big difference in the world.
You’re going to have days you feel like shit. It’s ok. If those bad days turn into weeks and you are walking around with a dark cloud between your ears? Do something.
My co-founder, Matt Pichette put it like this:
Scrappy right?
I had to make a presentation in front of a large room a few months ago. It was the last stage of an application to an accelerator here in SF (MatterVC!).
I had flown on a maxed out credit card, 5.87$ in my personal bank account and had hit ignore on my phone a few times from said phone company looking to get that bill paid. (The bill got paid, we got in, and locked down some funding. I eat now.)
But that day, I was a mess. I was smiling. But I was vibrating at a high level before, during and after.
Admitting that I was feeling this way? To my co-founder? WHAT?
Because I was supposed to be the chipper one, the front face, the person that can stand up and get everyone excited.
But guess what. I was doing a disservice to myself and my co-founder not sharing that I was depressed.
As a team, we better divided and prioritized objectives. I also gave my co-founder an opportunity to champion and cheerlead me.
He did.
At the end of the day, I think entrepreneurship is this:
We’re a little crazy.
It takes some delusion to start.
But if you find yourself being that person, putting up the positive front for everyone, hiding behind a plastic smile and starting to wilt? Talk to someone. Be honest. With yourself and with others, it’s not a sign of weakness to ask for help.
A friend, a co-founder, another entrepreneur, a mentor, a stranger on a freaking park bench. Anyone. Or make that phone call 1–800-SUICIDE (1–800–784–2433).
We need to start talking honestly about what entrepreneurship is. And we need to see that admitting a struggle with depression is one of the strongest things any founder can do.
We’re all in the same boat, paddling furiously. So be kind to yourself and to others. And remember, you’re human and you set the expectations for yourself and your business, not some version established by a glossy Hollywood archetype.
The journey has its up and downs, and I believe that I can live to fight another day.
So can you.
This piece originally appeared on Medium and was republished with the author’s permission.
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