Six Things That Surprised Immigrants In New Brunswick
Immigration has become a key focus of the provincial government in recent years. This month, the province released a plan that would increase the number of immigrants coming in annually.
But what’s the immigrant experience like? After all, everything is different when you move to a new country, from the way people greet each other to the way people do business. We spoke to three immigrants on what they found surprising as they navigate life in New Brunswick.
1. It’s A Car-Based Society
Cezar Grzelak and his wife, originally from Poland, moved to Saint John in 2000 after completing their studies in the U.K. Coming from the more densely-populated Europe, the couple was not prepared for the heavy reliance on cars in New Brunswick, where cities are more spread out.
“If you don’t have personal transport, you’re very hampered. That’s very different from Europe, especially Eastern Europe, where cars, at least used to be, not so prevalent. People used to just get by on foot or use public transit,” Grzelak said. “That was a shock to the system.”
The couple realized they needed a car when, in the first couple of weeks of arriving, they set out for a walk to the University of New Brunswick campus to meet other young people, but was blocked by a highway.
“We picked up our maps…we walked and walked and that ends there because the highway starts and there are no sidewalks. We tried to trudge through some bushes on the roadside, but eventually we gave up,” he reminisced.
The public transit was complex and infrequent, too. Luckily, they had enough cash to buy a secondhand car with half of it being financed, so they could start building their credit score. With their licenses not recognized, they had to pass a driving test again. That time was tough financially and logistically, Grzelak said, but having a vehicle changed everything.
“It makes a big difference because otherwise, you’re kind of stuck with what you can explore and whom you can meet. Especially when a lot of people are spread out in the suburbs, so socializing becomes difficult if you don’t have a car,” he said.
Now that their seven-year-old son is growing up, the couple is preparing to have to drive him around for activities.
“[Kids here] rely a lot on parents to chauffeur them to activities and stuff, whereas we basically would have just gone downstairs, hang out at the playground in front of the tower block and that was that, right? The moms would just holler from the window when dinner was ready,” he said. “Here there’s a lot more, as a parent, that you have to think about.”
2. Things Are Slower
Clotilde and Martial Heibing moved from France to Moncton in 2016. They started a business called Impertinent.ca, selling quirky European furniture and home decor online and through their home-based showroom. But they spent the first year off to get to know their new environment better.
After living a high-paced life owning and managing restaurants in France, the couple’s life slowed down in New Brunswick, something they sought by moving here. But they also found while running their business that people take longer to decide on purchases.
“People want a lot of information and then nothing happens, and you feel like, ‘oh, so they don’t want it,” she said, laughing. “But they come back six, nine, 12 months later. That’s the reason we work on the side because the sale process for design objects, because they’re expensive, is very different. I understand it’s not a priority for people.”
The slowness also applies to building relationships, she said.
“You cannot go to people being needy…people help you when they know you because they want to do it, not because you ask them to do it. I think that’s key to being accepted here because you take your time. You’re not pushy,” she said.
Now the couple mostly sells their inventory online, while both work full-time.
3. Jobs – You Either Get It Or You’re Ghosted
Looking for a job is already a stressful process, more so when you’re someone new to the country.
“When you’re looking for a job in a new country, you need to understand it’s a new way of presenting yourself. It’s a new way of being interviewed. And people are afraid [to call you in] and they’re right to be afraid because you come from another culture. Are you going to fit in [the] team?” says Clotilde, who speaks both English and French.
After job interviews, she said she didn’t hear back from the employer unless they’re interested.
“The process is fast or you don’t hear from them. People contact you only if they want to see you otherwise they don’t send you a letter saying ‘no’,” she said.
She’s now the coordinator of a program through the Société nationale de l’Acadie that helps promote Acadian artists abroad. Even in this work that she loves, in the beginning she encountered new meanings of French words she’s familiar with. It was kind of awkward when that happened.
“It’s hard to go to your boss and say, I didn’t understand the word. Because I don’t want to be seen as the French from France who feels like she writes the right French, because I don’t feel that way. My French isn’t better than the Acadian French, it’s different…So I have an extra thing [to think of] in my head,” she said.
Clotilde says speaking both official languages, being of European descent, and having the financial capability to take a year off to get to to know her new home made her experience easier than most. But there are some universal things that newcomers experience.
“You realize how people talk to you and consider you, like you’re less. Anything you say, anything you do, you always have to prove to others that you’re worth it. It’s really weird because it’s not something you experience in your own country. And at the same time I think I needed that to be a better person,” she said.
4. Volunteering Regularly Is A Thing
Natasha Akhtar moved to Fredericton in 2003 when her husband was recruited as a specialist at the hospital there. Originally from Pakistan, she had cut short her pharmacology masters program in the U.S. to make the move, thinking that she would be able to continue her studies in Fredericton.
But her visa didn’t allow that. She wasn’t able to work, either.
Being new and not having a network outside of her own cultural community, she didn’t have access to information that could have helped her find support as she also became a mother. Access to information, she said, is one of the gaps between immigrant and non-immigrant women.
“People say there are services here [that I can access], but that’s only if you know what services exist. If you don’t know anyone, you have no workplace, you have no network, then how would you know what services to contact for help? Essentially, the only people I knew were other people from our country of origin and the women in that group were in the same boat [as me],” she said.
“I did not expect that I wouldn’t be able to do anything constructive outside the house here. It didn’t occur to me that that could happen.”
Once her daughters were old enough, she would leave the house to find more information and meet people by attending seminars, classes and meetings. She found out that volunteering was a way to give back and become connected.
In her home country, she had volunteered with a women’s rights group. But that was as needed, not something she could do regularly.
“I didn’t know at the time that volunteering was something I could do or I would have done it. It’s part of the culture here, right?” she said.
Being fluent in English and being able to drive helped her access all that information, but not all immigrant women have that knowledge, Akhtar said.
5. The Microaggressions
Akhtar has since co-founded the New Brunswick Immigrant Women Association with other women to support those adjusting to life in Canada and those vulnerable to domestic violence.
She said many people don’t realize that immigrant women may have barriers related to language, mobility, culture and passive aggressive discrimination.
Some women are tied to family expectations to stay at home with their children unless they had reasons like work or school to do otherwise. Some are not confident in their abilities to speak English or French, so they rarely speak up. Others may feel discouraged by microaggressions – subtle ways by those who are in the majority to exclude someone in the minority, from a handful of people who are ‘louder’ than the many who are welcoming.
“Nobody says please go away, we don’t want to talk to you….but it’s a very subtle way of communicating simply by pretending you’re not there, not inviting you, forgetting to include you in emails, all these subtle behaviours that happen over and over and over again,” she explained.
Akhtar says fighting this is about awareness in the larger society.
“I do think that many people, if they knew they would care,” she said.
6. You Need An Insider To Let You Into Social Circles
Social circles in New Brunswick are typically already well-established. It’s difficult to penetrate that as someone new to the province. But Clotilde found that it was about finding that one person who’s willing to take you in.
“I have a friend who says ‘toute est dans toute,’ meaning everything is in everything here. That means it’s not in silos like in Europe, where you belong to certain circles but you don’t belong to others because it’s exclusive,” she said. “Here, it’s more like, you need to find a person who’s going to help you get into the circle. But once you find the person, you’ll be in the circle you want to be…But nothing is advertised. So if you don’t know, you don’t know. You have to meet people and meet people at a time when you don’t need them.”
Now that she’s settled in, Clotilde says while she’s still an immigrant – “because we all come from somewhere,” she doesn’t want to be seen as a newcomer anymore.
“Newcomer comes with ‘you’re less because you’re new.’ I’m not new anymore. I understand. I’m still learning but like everybody’s learning,” she said.